Yearning For Utopia

Time: 13.25
Mood: Hungry. For love, for creativity, for a bit of good old-fashioned craziness, for anything. But mostly for food I guess.
Reading: Bridget Jones' Diary. Again. No rolling of the eyes please - have become firmly convinced that this is a masterpiece of existentialism and that Helen Fielding will be revered in manner of Sartre come future years. I mean, hell, anyone who comes up with such a brilliantly descriptive term like 'fuckwittage' deserves a good degree of recognition.

Question: Temperature outside pushing the 30s. Nice, gentle breeze chases away all thoughts of potential melanomas. So why am I still sitting at desk while brain cells cast their unanimous suicide vote as I push the umpteenth key on my keyboard?

Answer: It's a sad day when suspicion becomes proof. I am, it appears, an irretrievably sane & sensible individual at heart. The sadness of it all. How else to explain the fact that I have just been reading all about this 28 year old who got to backpack all over India for a precious two years?

Why am I in sitting in a 4 by 4 hole in Ta' Xbiex instead of discovering my own personal beach in Thailand, for instance? Ah yes. It's because of that small matter regarding the cheque at the end of the day. You know, that piece of paper that lets me buy frivolities like books, clothes and, er, food. Am torn between jealousy for the glorious irresponsibility of throwing away my job, my house and everything and just buggering off AND the sad knowledge that hey, how does one live without mascara, with long bubble baths reading a book, mountains of CDs and clothes and...above all....one's dog?

Not to mention a certain person with twinkling eyes and a sardonic smile.

Ok. Have established that backpacking in Thailand/India/Zimbabwe/Wherever is not for me. Which is not to say that I can shake the feeling. Adventure. I want it. There isn't much adventure to be found in a 9 to 5 life where the biggest excitement involves me burning the toast yet again.

List of exciting things in own life

Finding new books
Discovering quaint cafes
The golden boy (more about him in the future)
Dog falling down the stairs to welcome me home
Singing out loud while topping 100 on the Mriehel by-pass (before intro of killjoy speed camera)
Jumping on trampolines (oops, sane girl turns out to be a nutter)
Inventing new languages
Giving speed cameras the middle finger (ok so I've never actually done it but hey! is the thought that counts. Or something.)

Grand total - 7
Oh my utopia, where art thou?